Testing the waters

Dad says that we don't spend enough time together, he says he feels as though we aren't close enough to fight. Tonight he asked me if the communication was more authentic in person, I answered 'yes". However, I think the communication through blogs is more honest. I suppose you could say that this is a daughter testing the waters. I tell my mom everything... or I have told her almost everything. More so now that I'm inching closer and closer to my eighteenth birthday. Dad is a different story. Dad and Mom have had different sets of beliefs for as long as I can remember. Beliefs as well as theories on the best ways to raise their daughter. They've each treated me differently, and in response I did the same to them. Neither was better, neither was bad, they were just, very simply, different. In a way, as I get older, I am learning to appreciate the behaviors and lessons I was exposed to from each of them individually. From them, I have learned a lot about what I want to be, and what I don't want to be. My mom has always been more of a friend than a parent, and I have treated her so. I tell my mom virtually everything knowing there won't often be repercussions, nor disappointment on her behalf, because she's always been more lax than most parents. This is not to say she didn't watch me very carefully, and encourage me to do the right things, she was just always apt to treat me as an adult, probably at times when I shouldn't have been....but ehh... anyway...

Blogging allows me to test my waters with my dad. I feel more comfortable slowly easing him into my reality over internet space than walking up to him and blabbering away. Mind you, it's not that I have been bad. Not that I have done anything I wouldn't post on this blog, it's that my dad has always treated me as his daughter, as his little girl, unlike my mother who treated me as a friend, and for a little while now I have played the part of an older daughter, not so little anymore-- or trying not to be. It's just different, and before I confuse you, dear reader, or myself anymore on the matter, I am going to end this blog!