I was under some false impression that this time it would be different. The lesson to be learned here is that we need to appreciate what we have and stop wanting so much. By we, I mean me. I guess. This feels disappointing. He is otherworldly with his patience. I envy that.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
I miss Nebraska. Lincoln, Nebraska is probably one of the most phenomenally beautiful places I've ever been. The grass, the architecture, the path of the roads, they all compliment one another so nicely. Everything feels ancient and the air is heavy with memories. It feels lived in, like a home.
Sometimes I miss Oklahoma. More often I miss what OKC meant to you and I, what it meant for our future. The independence it provided us and the bond we had to create to survive. It took a lot of trust. I am proud of us for that. Remember our first night there, on the balcony of the hotel? We were so hopeful. What a good memory...
Monday, September 10, 2012
It's raining. I'm nearing the end of my day finally. I haven't eaten, I simply don't provide myself the time. I'm thinking of you. I wish you wouldn't hang me out to dry like this. I don't like it. It feels lonely. Did you mean anything you said? I wonder if you know how to do this. To me, it's similar to this: I commission an artist to paint me the most beautiful sunset I've ever seen. He does. I don't like it. This doesn't invalidate his talent or my dream of a perfect sunset, it's just not the right fit. You told me you'd paint my picture. Where is it?
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Amy Winehouse, Adele and Missy Higgins. These girls know now how to work out a broken heart in a song. Damn. My motivators. All I want to do is write music. I want to write truth. I want to put my heart in a song. So, here I sit. Writing. I watch the sunrise. I've been up all night. These words wont leave me until I find their melody. So I don't sleep.