Sunday, July 13, 2008

A New York State Of Mind

I feel like I'm stuck. This endless stretch of desert is making me feel despondent, and no where feels like home anymore.

I remember stepping out of the taxi cab once we arrived in New York City. I swear to you I had never felt more comfortable in my entire life than I did in that city. Never felt more at home. I was convinced I wouldn't like it. I had preconceived notions that it would be too crowded and touristy, nevertheless I was excited to visit. I remember very vividly the sigh of relief, the overwhelming feeling that very nearly brought tears to my eyes when I sat down in the theatre to watch my first Broadway show. That was where I belonged. I had never been happier. I have never been happier.

It rained 60% of the time I was there, which wasn't very long. Now every time it rains I close my eyes and make believe I'm where I want to be. I'm aware this sounds remarkably romantic, this idea, these thoughts. I'm aware they sound embellished, made to sound deep, piercing, sad. But they are not. They come straight from my head, they live there every day.

I am in a New York State of Mind. I just want to go home. Home, home, home.

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