Purple

I've been on medication for depression and mood swings for roughly a year and a half now. Maybe more, it's hard to tell. Usually it works great and I am more even keeled. The minute I go off my medicine I become extremely prone to mood swings and become very introverted and depressed. This happened when I ran out of medication last week and neglected to go the perscription filled. I did fill it after two days, and I'm back on my regular dosage, but this time it isn't helping. Maybe I just need to give it a couple more weeks. It worries me because I hate feeling like this. It's sad and anxious and I don't like it.

I met a boy, MC, who is a friend of HE's. MC and I have met a couple of times before, but after he posted a builliten about being sad I messaged him, just a simple hello, making small talk and such. MC is the boy version of myself, or so I have come to believe as of late. We talk every day, text througout. He keeps me company seeing as the summer has isolated me from my friends. I like MC a lot, and I would like to become more of MC's friend. I am thinking MC and I should go out for coffee Tuesday night. I am thinking I need a good friend again, one who gets me.

RJ came into my work with CC tonight. My best friends, remember? [if not, refer to the post with their picture]. I felt distant from them. Like a whole TON of time and space had passed since we'd spoken, like a whole series of events completed and changed everything... but they hadn't. Or had they? I couldn't tell. But it was strange. I miss them. I complained to RJ that CC wasn't returning my calls and she replied with "Well someone else isn't very good at that either.." referring to me. She calls and I always hit the "busy" button on my phone. It's not that I don't want to talk to her, it's just that I'm busy at the time, and can't sit and listen to her talk for an hour [which happens frequently]. I guess the part where I own up is the part where I tell you I don't call her back. What am I doing? Why am I isolating myself? It SUCKS.