P2

"Tell me what you were going to say!"
He laughed.
"No way!"
"Please? Please, please? I'll tell you what I was going to say..."
"You promise?"
"Yep!"
"Ok, then."
He pulled her in close and whispered,
"I love you"
He took her breath away. She was silent or a second. She had seen it coming, but even still she couldn't have prepared herself for the way it would sound, spoken aloud, by him.
"Say it again."
"I love you." He paused, "I love you"
She sat up and pulled her knees to her chest.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing"
Silence.
Again, it was pitch black- except for a candle. She watched the shadows on the walls. They danced anxiously, waiting for someone to put them at peace, to blow the candle out.
"What's wrong?"
He crawled up in front of her and put is back against the wall, also pulling his knees to his chest.
"I told you, Nothing. I just have a hard time...-Everything is absolutely fine."
"What?"
"Nothing, I should go."
Resting her head on her knees she closed her eyes. Soon enough she smelled the smoke from his cigarette. She looked up to find him on the balcony again, sitting in the dark. She could see the red end of his cigarette glittering through the black.
"Come out here, Baby"
He called to her but she didn't budge.
"I should go"
"Please baby, please don't go"
She reasoned with herself. Maybe this wasn't so awful, that maybe she could love him. Maybe she could find the strength to formulate the words and say it back. Maybe she could accept the fact that he loved her. Maybe not.
"How many girls have you said that to?"
Silence
"Three"
She wondered if he meant it. She tried to believe him, but it wasn't happening. She knew what love meant, she'd been in love before.
He stood up and walked inside. She slipped off the bed and threw her hands around his neck as he was coming in. She rested her head in the crook of his neck and sighed.
"Well, I suppose it's only fair... since you told me what you were going to say, that I should tell you?"
He nodded gently. She whispered softly, almost inaudibly into his ear,
"I love you"
He squeezed her tightly.
"Do you mean it?"
"Yes"
She surprised herself in saying it, even more so in feeling it. He was everything she was looking for. She liked to sit out on the balcony with him and watch him speak. His words were captivating- as he spoke, she hung onto every word tightly, as though she was afraid it would be the last. She liked to watch the way his hands moved when he talked about the things he felt passionately about, and the way he gestured with a cigarette in hand. He was sweet, the way he gently pushed the hair out of her eyes and held her face when he kissed her. She liked that when he laughed, he meant it. She wanted to explain this to him, but she didn't know where to begin.
"Don't let me fall asleep, I can't stay here."
Face to face and inches apart the sound of his breath lulled her to sleep with the comfort of knowing he was right there.
Between the place of sleep and wake she felt a hand on her forehead pushing the hair out of her face. She felt him kiss her forehead gently, pull the blanket up over her, and pat her back softly. He walked over, blew the candle out, then laid back down beside her.