Life on Mars

It's odd to see a house you've lived in for four years filled with so many memories and then emptied. I don't like walking around my, now, empty house. Mom left on the 27th and now I reside in a city without her- who I have lived with for 17 years. It's not so much that I haven't ever been away from my mom, because I have. I have spent summers with my dad, weekends at my friends' etc. It's not that I don't know how to carry on without her in the next room over. It's more of the concept that she's physically not here anymore. She has taken up residence a good 8 hours away and though I can reach her 1 hour by plane ride, it's not the same as driving 20 minutes uptown. "It's as if you'd gone away to college" she said, but it isn't really that at all. Part of the sadness I feel is for the house we no longer inhabit. For the four walls and ceiling I had come to love so very much. More than anything it's the fact that I can't go back to the place I call home. Sure, I will come to find a new home, but I've never been a fan of change. During my childhood I moved upwards of 8 times, just because my stepfather found it necessary to buy a brand new home every couple of years. Yeah, it was traumatic- but I've yet to come across someone who hasn't had a traumatic childhood in some sense. Anyway, I just HATE moving and thus, I abhor the fact that my mommy has moved away. 

It's a little surreal, a little like life on Mars.