Afternoons

Watching the Sex In The City movie with HH. Makes me miss NYC.

<33

Things I know for sure

I don't many things for sure. I am not entirely sure that I know anything for sure. I am sure, however, that acting is what I want to do with my life. When I grow up I want to continue to be an actress. I know for sure, that I want you to stop telling me that I can't. I could be a million other things, I know. I could be a writer, a nurse... I could be something that you'd surely be proud of. I could be the journalist you want me to be...I could write articles for a magazine, sit in a cubicle and drink the same office coffee every morning before sitting down in my office chair in front of my computer with pictures of my cousins, brothers, friends plastered around the screen. Post-it notes scattered about, pieces of paper, a telephone. I could work in a huge building with 45 floors. It's not what I want. I want to walk through a large metal door into a brightly lit room, sit down on a stool in front of a mirror with pictures of my cousins, brothers, friends tucked into the corners. Lip stick, sponges, fake eyelashes, hairspray scattered about. I want to walk out onto a stage and make a full house laugh, cry and clap every night of the week. I want to share inside jokes with my fellow actors. I want to work hard every night to find something more inside of me, something new to bring to the show. I want to learn from the people I work with, learn about myself, about my craft. I want to be an actress.

Yes, I am a little fish in a big pond and there are thousands, millions, more just like me but I can do this. Wherever I end up I will know that I followed my heart, I believe in myself and my dreams and at the end of the day, that's what is going to matter. That's what's going to matter to me.

"It's your WHAT!?"

Last night I went to the cast party for Oklahoma. It's nice to be around people who share the same feelings you do about acting. We got to talking about theatre we'd done in the past and upon announcing this is my first lead in a musical my director and several others gasped loudly, asking me how that could be. The oppourtunity has never presented itself, really... until now. I've only auditioned for two other musicals in my entire life. They argued amongst themselves about how it could possibly be that I've never been a lead in a musical before when one of the men in the cast says, "No, no you see... her big career is AHEAD of her. She's only at the beginning just yet!" My career? It's a cool thing, to have someone you look up to say something like that. He thinks I have a career ahead of me? :).

It made me feel good, like if someone else believes in me, then maybe it'd do me some good to believe in myself.

"Uh Oh" just doesn't cover it.

MY MACBOOK IS SICK.

*breath*

I accidentally dropped my precious Macbook on the tile floor yesterday (THANK GOODNESS FOR ITS CASE) ... after which time the CD Drive began to make these awful, annoying noises. There was a CD inside when I dropped it, and it started making weird noises after I pulled it out... so, something broke.

I called apple support. Gosh, they're nice folks. I have an appointment at the Genuis Bar tomorrow at noon so they can look at it. I feel much better after the nice man assured me that I wouldn't have to go without my Macbook for long, even if I did have to send it in. *whew*


iLove my Macbook <3

Mode

Maybe I'm lazy. I am either lazy or stubborn, or both. I hate college.I dislike class. I don't dislike "college" or the idea of college. I am still trying to figure myself out, but it's one of two things... I'm not doing what I love in school (well tough shit everyone has to take these stupid general classes... I know). I'm not doing ANYTHING I like in school and I don't really have a goal. Everything is still up in the air as of now. My major is undecided, and so is my future. The second thing: I am LAZY. All of this college nonsense takes work. "If I'm not getting what I want, I refuse to participate in anything else..."... this is where my stubborn theory comes in.

If I could have it my way like BK promises, I'd take the next year off to do community theatre, dance and take voice lessons. This is the part where I realize that I am both lazy and stubborn. Lazy in that I HATE doing GenEd work, and stubborn in that I refuse to do anything but what I want to do.

This post means nothing, just mindless rambling in PHIL110.

Frenemies

They say that you should keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.... that is JUST what I intend to do.

Everybody thinks I've lost my mind, but I just take it day by day

Sleep. I've been sleeping a good 14 hours a day lately.
Ihatebeingawake...unless I'm on stage.