Lonely surrounded by you

I am sitting here in my bed eating raspberry sorbet. Ruining my diet- improving my state of mind temporarily.

I've been looking at places to move. Seattle's lush greenery and constant rain seems the most appealing to me. I need a muse. I need something to spark my creativity back up. I told my voice teacher last week that I was unsure if I wanted to continue singing. She started crying and begged me to sing, telling me I had a responsibility to my talent. I am unhappy and I am searching for a change- a dramatic one- a change to fix all things. It starts with little things- dying my hair, perming my hair, cutting my hair; temporarily feeling new. Then I want to pierce my nose and get a tattoo. Then I want to move far away and become a writer. I want change, I need change. Anything but where I am, who I am. It's all very dreary, I realize. I've never been happy in one place. HE could tell you that- I've never been happy with anything steady. I am always looking to run away to something new.

This post has no real point. Thinking aloud.